


Too Late

by katimus_prime



Category: Xenosaga
Genre: M/M, Yaoi, antagonists, elitism mention, original game excerpt, sad old men kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-17 23:23:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2326910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katimus_prime/pseuds/katimus_prime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That feel when someone's scraped you off the ground and you can't figure out how to express your gratitude until it's just about too late?  Andrew Cherenkov is very familiar with this feel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Late

Cherenkov stepped out onto the observation deck to find it empty, except for Margulis.  There were mere hours before his departure for the Woglinde.  The old Federation uniform was uncomfortably tight on him, but he put his head up and walked forward.  "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes, I wanted to make sure I got to talk with you before your departure.  This mission is going to be dangerous, and I haven't been able to get to talk one on one for a very long time."

He gulped and stepped forward. "I suppose it's comeuppance, considering what I did..."

"I know how you feel about this, but we are better, _you_ are better, than anyone that was sacrificed in the experiment that day.  I remember how you all but sang out how you had no regrets at first, and it was absolutely beautiful. I wish it hadn't ended so badly for you, but you should remember that those people weren't human."

"After taking the lives of two billion people, I'm not feeling particularly human myself, sir..."

"Come closer to the window, Commander Cherenkov, I want to show you something."

Andrew followed Margulis' lead.  Their ship was in a high orbit around the planet that was launching the Woglinde. It was a Federation world, much more densely populated than Ariadne ever was, by the look of all the lights they could see on the surface.  The sun was just about to crest over the horizon, and Cherenkov noticed that even on the parts of the surface where the sun touched, the lights were still just as bright.

"Behold the light that spreads before your eyes.  This light once symbolized civilization, the very will of the human race, but what can be gleaned from the light we see today?  The people of this world have cast away their will to create, drowning themselves instead in an endless cycle of consumption.  What you see now is the deceitful light cast by their stagnant eyes."

"The people you've encountered in your lifetime are not people at all.  They're less than human - mere sacks of flesh and bone.  Only upon the realization of self-will can a person truly be called a man.  You chose to reject the false light, refused to succumb to their lies.  That's why you never faltered, even after all the personality reconditioning."

"Long ago, man was forced to leave behind his homeland.  This was brought about by the masses that extinguished the very light that drove their will.  So, how about it, Cherenkov?  Let us re-kindle the torch, so that human consciousness can once again be resurrected, for our sake, and that of our God."

"I...I would follow you out of an airlock if you asked me to, sir," he said, looking up at him.  His expression was clearly pained, and he didn't keep eye contact for very long. "If not for you, I would certainly be dead, but no amount of Ormus fervor is going to change the fact that what I did was wrong and excessive."

Margulis shifted uncomfortably.  It had been a long time since anyone had the courage or stupidity enough to contradict him.  

"I feel it burning in my chest, gnawing at the back of my mind.  If we don't retrieve the Emulator, we're all going to be in danger. There are 1.5 billion souls out there screaming for revenge, and they all know my name."

"Andrew..."

"I wanted to push myself to be exactly what you wanted me to be, and I can't, and it's killing me, because..." he paused, tried to see if he could say it while he was looking at him, but couldn't.  "...because...I-I love you, sir."

"...!"

"You built me back up from nothing. You made it possible for me to take pride in my work, and in myself again. Because of you, I'm alive, I'm not a shell of a man anymore, and I'm human. Coming from absolutely nothing to this place, to work for you, to help you get what you want, I...I can't _not_ feel this way."

"Do you think you've confused admiration for affection?"

"No, sir!" he said, able to look him in the eyes, quite defiantly, Margulis noticed. He stood at attention with his chest puffed out like it was something that could defend him from what was going to happen next.

Margulis looked down his nose at him and matched his sour look, "Your orders, Andrew Cherenkov, are to return to me as soon as possible after the Emulator is retrieved," he growled, taking him by the collar, " _Alive_."

"Sir!"

Margulis scowled bitterly, clenching his teeth and drawing closer. "How _dare_ you do this to me?"

Cherenkov struggled to get free, and got shoved against the railing for his trouble. "You'd rather I just not tell you at all?!"

"I have been biting back on my desire from the moment I saw you, trying to keep myself under control, trying to play at keeping innocent..." A step forward put him an inch away from the younger man's chest. He smelled like U-TIC standardized antiperspirant and fear, but he no longer struggled.  Margulis took off his gloves and reached a hand up to touch his face. "Now, you're saying that all of that self-flagellation was unnecessary, and I could have spent it much more...constructively?" he asked, pushing his fingers up through Cherenkov's hair. 

Cherenkov sputtered and swallowed nervously, trying frantically to figure out what Margulis was going to do next. "Isn't...a little bit better than nothing at all, Commander?" He reached up and pressed his lips against Margulis' nervously, shaking until he kissed back.  He wanted this moment to last forever, but he pulled back quickly.

"I have to send you into Gnosis-infested space in two hours with little to no support..."

"You were going to do that anyway."  Cherenkov kissed him again, this time more aggressively, pulling him closer, trying to reach under his collar.

"Feeling this powerless is something I was not prepared for..." 

"Well, it's a good thing I'm an expert on feeling powerless." 

Cherenkov ran his hands through Margulis' perfect hair, ruining it for the rest of the day. Margulis undid his sword belt and let it fall to the floor, pressing himself closer against him before coming up for air.

"I had wanted this moment to be so much nicer."

"I'm sorry, Commander..."

Margulis shrugged out of his heavy overcoat, throwing it to the other side of the room.  He kicked off his boots and undid his collar, stepping down off the railing and closer to the window, motioning for Cherenkov to do the same. "I suppose we're just going to have to make do with making it as nice as it can be with the time we have."

Cherenkov gladly stripped out of the Federation uniform. When his pants came off, so did his Commander's, and they grabbed at each other again like hungry, extinct animals. If it was cold against the window, Margulis' body heat completely negated it as they continued to kiss and grope at each other.  Cherenkov ran his hands up his torso and was impressed but not surprised at how well-toned he was. The small amount of muscle he himself had managed to build back up was wirey and pulled tight, whereas Margulis' position had afforded him the space to stay healthy and strong and completely rock-solid. "Your body is just as perfect as I had imagined it, Commander. I have to say I'm envious."

"I'll show you envious," Margulis replied, running a hand over Cherenkov's crotch and kissing the nape of his neck to see if it did anything for him, then moved up to bite at his ear when it didn't. As soon as it made contact, Cherenkov let out a pleasured yelp that was probably heard the next deck over. "Do you know many nights I've ended with thoughts of you, Andrew Cherenkov?" he growled into his ear as he slid his hand into Cherenkov's tight, U-TIC standardized underwear.

"Probably more than I have thinking of you, if you've really been interested in me from the first day we met," he said, running his own hand over his Commander's erection, "but I'm sure I can make up the difference from now on, especially after to--AaaaaaAa!"

"That was a rhetorical question," Margulis said, taking Cherenkov's wrist to guide him taking out his penis and touching it to his.

"This is so hot..."

"Hot enough to rekindle a torch, perhaps?"

"Hot enough to save a star from going nova..."


End file.
